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2017: Presence.

2017: Presence.

Focusing on being present in the moment has been more enjoyable than I imagined. But it's also requiring constant effort from moment to moment. It may or may not be because match day is 11 days away, but I mean who's counting (nervous laugh/cry)? I still remember almost four years ago now, in medical school orientation, when they hammered into us to "be mindful" and to "find balance" ... in an irrationally un-balanced schedule that we were held standard to. 

In struggle, I think we all have the tendency to run: either run away from our problems or run as fast as we can through - because if you're going through hell, go faster, amirite? But half of the journey is about the process, and learning to appreciate it and the aspects of change in yourself - is how you gain leverage in guiding your journey toward your goals. It has been within this process that my faith has given me wisdom, taught me perseverance, and given me peace through difficulty.

I love medicine and surgery, but I also value my life outside of it. Building checks & balances to remind myself that the work we do is important, but so am I. Part of this is about re-learning what makes me run, and trying to figure out how to build that into my regular routine despite how busy I am. This includes but is not limited to: reading, writing, sketching, photography, lifting, yoga-ing, meal-prepping and learning about nutrition, study bibles & quiet time with God, being in fellowship with other Christians, catching up with friends, and spending time with my nephew. Another part is enjoying the work just as much while I'm there - which may be 99.9% of the time soon, so we're back to the finding balance in imbalance. But I digress.

Part about being present for me is having a plan, so I can relax. On any given day, there are a million thoughts running through my brain and things I want to do. To-do lists and goal sheets are the way I make it happen - the Ink & Volt planner has been helpful with that. I love is the yearly theme, monthly goals, weekly plans, & 30 day challenges. It also has room for notes. Something I can see improving in this product in the future is the overall design aspect, and it would have been helpful to have built in tabs for each month. What are your favorite planners? 

Ending this note on a powerful prayer from tonight's Craving: Faith session... 

"God, make me a worker. Make me a worker who is so focused on the calling that there will be no time for comparison or competition or false humility. Make me the one who bends her head towards the desk and just gives herself to the process, not the praise. Keep me faithful. Keep me honest. Keep me real. Chip away what doesn't help me get closer to others. Make me fall so hard in love with this work that I fail to see the ones who'd like to see me fall. Make me so faithful to the direction I am going in that my life won't be a good story but rather a map that others could use to find You for real."

Are we all in la la land?

Are we all in la la land?

Fourth year: Surgery Audition Rotations