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Hi.

Welcome. Make yourself at home.

In a moment

In a moment

Everything can be different.

I recently finished my last rotation of medical school. In that moment, it was done. All of that hard work and time, and it was just done. 

I had emergency medicine as my last. After hundreds of patients, 2 paracenteses, an almost pristine lumbar puncture, CPR, many eye stains with wood's lamp, EFast US exams, lac repairs, I&D's, and rectal exams...at least I can say I feel more comfortable with certain things than I did before the rotation. In that moment, I was so relieved I knew what I wanted. It made me want to start that much more. 

There are few moments where in a second, your life changes forever. Like giving birth: a child is growing inside of a woman and then all of a sudden - a real human being outside on their own - terrifying but beautiful. A course of a life, changed forever. But there are also bad things that can do that too.

Like when a family came in as a Trauma activation - rear ended by a semi-truck. A semi-truck.

My first thought was: oh no. My second thought was: this could have happened to anybody. To hundreds of people who took that same freeway. It could have happened to me.

Maybe the mom was taking her 2 kids to get ice cream. Or they came along to gas up the car. Or they had just come from a movie and wanted to take the long way home. One moment, one decision after another, that culminated into something that is so significant yet seems so happen chance. 

I used to think that every single thing happened for a reason. This isn't true, but life is also not happen chance. This world is a broken place, and we were never meant to be here. Not like this. Bad things happen, sometimes to good people, and there is no explanation. I can't tell you it was meant to be because it wasn't. Awful things are awful, no matter how good or bad the person is, because it is a human life. What I can tell you is that with every single terrifying, awful, horrendous experience, the presence of God is what brought me through - not explanations. Maybe that doesn't help, and maybe you don't quite understand it. But, I hope one day, you do. 

Faith isn't always easy for me, and sometimes each day is a struggle. I think it's about constantly going back to the truth and knowing that knowing is not everything. But wanting to know the 'why' is a very human thing, and I know He made us that way for a reason.

As huge as one moment can be in altering someone's life, I'd like to think it's the culmination of many moments - choosing to do the right thing, loving on others, genuinely loving on yourself - over and over, that gets us to where we are. Don't stop. Keep going. You don't have to be fearless, just not fear driven.

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"This is not how it should be, this is not how it could be, but this is how it is. And our God is in control."

Status: Listening

Status: Listening

New Blooms.

New Blooms.