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In a moment

In a moment

Everything can be different.

I recently finished my last rotation of medical school. In that moment, it was done. All of that hard work and time, and it was just done. 

I had emergency medicine as my last. After hundreds of patients, 2 paracenteses, an almost pristine lumbar puncture, CPR, many eye stains with wood's lamp, EFast US exams, lac repairs, I&D's, and rectal least I can say I feel more comfortable with certain things than I did before the rotation. In that moment, I was so relieved I knew what I wanted. It made me want to start that much more. 

There are few moments where in a second, your life changes forever. Like giving birth: a child is growing inside of a woman and then all of a sudden - a real human being outside on their own - terrifying but beautiful. A course of a life, changed forever. But there are also bad things that can do that too.

Like when a family came in as a Trauma activation - rear ended by a semi-truck. A semi-truck.

My first thought was: oh no. My second thought was: this could have happened to anybody. To hundreds of people who took that same freeway. It could have happened to me.

Maybe the mom was taking her 2 kids to get ice cream. Or they came along to gas up the car. Or they had just come from a movie and wanted to take the long way home. One moment, one decision after another, that culminated into something that is so significant yet seems so happen chance. 

I used to think that every single thing happened for a reason. This isn't true, but life is also not happen chance. This world is a broken place, and we were never meant to be here. Not like this. Bad things happen, sometimes to good people, and there is no explanation. I can't tell you it was meant to be because it wasn't. Awful things are awful, no matter how good or bad the person is, because it is a human life. What I can tell you is that with every single terrifying, awful, horrendous experience, the presence of God is what brought me through - not explanations. Maybe that doesn't help, and maybe you don't quite understand it. But, I hope one day, you do. 

Faith isn't always easy for me, and sometimes each day is a struggle. I think it's about constantly going back to the truth and knowing that knowing is not everything. But wanting to know the 'why' is a very human thing, and I know He made us that way for a reason.

As huge as one moment can be in altering someone's life, I'd like to think it's the culmination of many moments - choosing to do the right thing, loving on others, genuinely loving on yourself - over and over, that gets us to where we are. Don't stop. Keep going. You don't have to be fearless, just not fear driven.


"This is not how it should be, this is not how it could be, but this is how it is. And our God is in control."

Status: Listening

Status: Listening

New Blooms.

New Blooms.