Welcome. Make yourself at home.

Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.

Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.

I’m not a fan of the process.

That seems taboo to say out loud, because we’re supposed to love the hustle — but we’re all too familiar with it...feeling the struggle, understanding it’s a journey, yet also knowing it sucks right now. 

It’s like getting your hair done - watching the process of cut, color, knowing it’ll look different in the end but hating how it looks right now. The potential of disaster is heavy for those of us who are type A, OCD, high achieving, never feeling enough (holla). So you can imagine how difficult a culture residency can be, with a constant state of discomfort, challenge after challenge, that builds a sense of resilience that you cannot refuse. Sink or swim, sink or swim. 

NASA recently posted a picture titled “wind of change,” which showed the surface of Mars with grains that were weathered by persistent wind in the same direction. Ripples noted on the top of the slope were from the movement. 

It made me think... what is shaping us?

Day in and day out, what is consistent and persistent in our lives that creates dents in us, and are we aware of it enough to alter what we need to? We are built to be shaped, to learn how to turn cope-ability into capability. Because this is just a cumulative process of building blocks into the whole picture. Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. Big surgeries are just small individual parts put together, with the metronome of surgery and technique.

But I am not everything. And that is okay. I’m not a great test taker. I still haven’t mastered consistent exercise in my schedule. I get my groceries delivered. I rarely cook even though I wish I could to be healthier. But some of this is temporary. And all of it gives me time to focus on my loved ones, my strengths, my passions. 

It always feels and looks like failure in the middle. Learning to go through (instead of thriving in) the struggle is okay. The culture of work hustle these days, where you are expected to love work and love more work—it’s not sustainable and it’s not real. We are all multifaceted and we get to speak to that, we get to speak life into that.

Freeing yourself from unhealthy expectations is a fresh breath of air in the middle of chaos.

- C.

Medical School to Residency